


sleeping stranger

by dreamscapenymph



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-22
Updated: 2014-02-21
Packaged: 2017-12-06 02:31:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/730572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamscapenymph/pseuds/dreamscapenymph
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>she was fully prepared to crash after a particularly grueling shift. but. there was a guy, in her couch. and. another one, in her bed. so how was she going to sleep again?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

* * *

_FOREHEAD!!_

_I made pancake batter; it’s in the fridge. Breakfast for all of you! Eat before you crash in bed, okay?_

_Toodles!_

_Ino_

* * *

 

To: Yamanaka Ino [yamanaka_ino@yamanakaflowers.com]

From: Haruno Sakura, MD [harunosakura_md@universityofkonoha.com]

Re: WHERE ARE YOU?!

…AND WHAT IS THIS BLONDE DUDE DOING SNORING IN OUR COUCH?!

I swear, Pig, if he’s Boyfriend of the Week I will slam my head on the door. Repeatedly. Wasn’t Sai whose-last-name-he-won’t-ever-mention the Boyfriend of the Week?

And I will bet a week’s use of my wonderful Miu Miu boots that you went and got yourself plastered _again_ during Lee’s party last night.

You have a lot to explain to me, Boar.

I’ll be making the pancakes for Blonde Dude when he wakes up. If he wakes up?

WHERE ARE YOU?!

Sakura

* * *

 

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: RELAX, Forehead.

And what’s with the use of the formal emails? I swear if I take another look at yamanaka_ino@yamanakaflowers.com I am going to barf BORING. And girl, I _know_ you’re Dr. Haruno Sakura over at the University so WHY would you want to repeat that in an email address? Why not make it…harunosakuramd_THEGREATESTDOCWHOWONTKILLYOU@university ofkonoha.com?

Gosh, Forehead, you need a life aside from getting up into your elbows with blood. And what is it with the unhappiness in your informal email? I’ve known that in high school, and it never fails to make me shake my head miserably. You need a life, I repeat! Life and Jazz! We are so going to Lee’s party next week. Don’t worry I’ll hide you from him. I think you can still go to a party and have fun without meeting the host.

And what is _fmail_? OH FOREHEAD YOU—you sometimes make me laugh so much. _Fuckmail?!_ HAHAHAHAHA.

I’m at our store, manning (manfully, hah) the cash register.

The Blonde Dude, as you have called him, is a distant cousin whom I met again at the party last night. He was pretty sloshed when he spotted me and called me over with a loud “INO-CHYAAAN!!” and was not making any sense at all. All I could understand was the word ‘home.’ I figured he didn’t have anywhere to go so I dumped him on our couch before going to sleep in my own bed. I couldn’t very well leave him, right? He’s a cousin, Sakura-chan!! He was out like a light. Sorry if he’s snoring loudly. He can’t help it if he’s born that way. Loud I mean.

Oh, his name is Uzumaki Naruto and he is NOT Boyfriend of the Week. (I have NOT progressed into the world of incestual desires!) And yeah, Sai was so last Friday. You need to keep up with me and my boys, Forehead!

Ha, Loser! I did NOT get myself plastered! There’s an ocean’s worth of difference between plastered and tipsy. I was merely _tipsy_ , hun. (I’mma wanting those Miu Miu boots now!)

Oh, you are such a kind and chivalrous soul, Sakura-chan! That’s why I left him with you, and didn’t take him with me. I’m not a doc like you, doc! (Har. Har.)

Don’t email me again. I’m trying to cozy up to Shika-kun. He’s ignoring me. Get that? IGNORING me. Nobody ignores INO. INO. ME.

Toodles!

Ino-chan

* * *

 

To: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

From: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

Re: You think you’re so funny. NOT.

Shut up, Boar. And at least I had the decency to delete the signature! I know how touchy you get over how long it is compared to yours.

That was a pretty long email. See? I told you brain cells work better when you’re not nursing a hangover from the night before. Do it more often. Except try NOT DRUNK rather than TIPSY or PLASTERED. Get it, Pig? NOT DRUNK.

People might think you’re Tsunade-shishou’s apprentice and not me, what with all the booze you’ve been drinking to sustain your life. (Not lifestyle, even.)

And lay off my e-add. I was at a pretty angsty period of life then okay? The forehead jokes were forgotten already (but not by you, YOU BITCH) and the people moved on to my _pink hair_. Honestly, people, can I never catch a break?

And it’s _freemail_ , you blonde bimbette. Your mind is so green I expect Lees and Gais running to and fro there.

I do not believe you! A cousin? A distant one at that? LIES!

Hmph. Fine, they’re with you anyway. When are you going to, I don’t know, give them back?

Who is Shika-kun? By any chance is he The Shikamaru of high school days? The one you’ve had a _quiet_ (for this, Ino, I was so proud of you) crush on for years? What’s he doing in your family’s flower shop? Don’t tell me you still like him. How about Sai? Kiba? Gaara? (Oh no, Gaara was scary.)

Come home. It would be so awkward when Blonde Dude—ahem, Uzumaki Naruto—wakes up!

Sakura-chan

* * *

 

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: I am funny! You just don’t have a sense of humor.

LALALA. I can’t hear you. Or read you. Whatever.

Sakura. Stop angsting at your laptop. It’s not healthy. Snap out of it NOW.

I knew that, you know-it-all, I was trying to nudge and get a laugh out of your nonexistent funny bone. (And bimbette? Methinks you mean bimbo. What happened to spell check? HAH! I know something that you don’t.)

It is true! Why do you doubt me, O Doubtful One?

Hah. You are so jealous of me and my Miu Miu boots and me. They are thigh highs! They do wonderful things to make your legs look long and sexy.

Yes, I’m afraid he is The Shikamaru with the unavoidable capitals. Forehead. Let’s not go there. I am still smarting from that. I have to remind you that all of this is just revenge. I will spell it for your pretty little forehead. R-E-V-E-N-G-E. YESSSS.

And we know that all of them liked you better the moment you talked to them. Even if Gaara was scary, you still talked to him. And gave him your Sakura smile. Don’t deny it! You so had a thing for my previous boyfriends of the week. Or they did. Whatever. EFF those Major Losers.

Oh no, we are so discussing my inferiority-insecurity issues here, you know-it-all (Fine, we both know you know it all… _almost_ ). Not over email, Forehead! I hate this. I hate you. I hate them. :(

Nahh, you’re fine. He’s a cool dude. And I have a think: he might like yo!. You’ll lose that boyfriendless streak of yours. Ever since, UGH, Shino (HONESTLY, Sakura?).

Ino-chan The Beautiful

* * *

 

To: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

From: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

Re: This has become pointless.

Ino-chan. Please remember your bouts of angsting on your laptop, too, whenever you watch those trashy dramas. And you cried all over your qwerty’s when you watched My Sister’s Keeper with me. I am not the only one angsting, y’know. YOU taught me that.

Ahem. You are talking to a doctor here, who sees _pain and numbness_ whenever nudging funny bones are mentioned. And everybody has funny bones (unless they were born without arms or had them amputated or whatever. I could go on and on, and you’d just be having a blank face over there and it’s a waste of email space.).

_And_ I did mean BIMBETTE, you BIMBETTE. Bimbo and bimbette are the same. Don’t you go spell check on me, just because you blindly depend on it doesn’t mean everybody else in the world does. BIMBETTE.

Um. Because every guy you bring to the apartment is Boyfriend of the Week. I’ve never even seen your dad inside here! (By the way, Ino, when are you going to have a job other than in your family’s shop? What’s the use of all your rants of independence and moving into an apartment with me if you’re going to depend on your parents for income?)

Those are my Miu Mius! Mine!

Hah. Have I ever told you that you are such a liar? What is The Shikamaru doing there in the flower shop? I thought he’s now a hotshot something or other with a skyscraper office and a skyscraping pay.

OH INO. I never had a thing for them and vice versa! !!!! Ino!! My eyes are totally bugged out. Did you think I was the reason for your breakups??!?!?! Am I supposed to feel guilty? Oh no. Now I’m the one with issues. :O

(For a while there I remembered middle school and planting three fingers on your forehead rotating them counter clockwise chanting Whatever Major Losers. Haha. Anyway, I digress. And regress.)

Excuse me. I am more inferior to you. See: (1) Boyfriends of the Week; (2) Hair Color. Do I need to continue?

Oh, Blonde Dude’s awake. Ha. You’ll never guess what happened.

Sakura-chan

* * *

 

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: (untitled)

WHAT?! DO YOU HAVE A LOVELIFE NOW FOREHEAD? UNTIL WHAT BASE? DETAILS!!!!

Ino-chan The Beautiful The Goddess

* * *

 

To: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

From: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

Re: You are such a whore.

_WHY_ do you need details? I am the one living vicariously through your love life, not vice versa! Hello again, Boyfriend of the Week? (Kami, that always takes too long to type. From now on it is BoW. ‘Kay?)

And nothing happened. I may have had a crush on him when he opened his eyes (Kami his eyes. They’re so…blue. It’s as if I see my own face reflected on them. Prism. Mirror. Whatev.), then he opened his mouth and the whole world _crashed_. Onto Atlas’ mythological shoulders.

Okay. I need to backtrack.

So there I was in the kitchen, whipping up your famous Ino pancakes (I swear I can’t cook to save my life. Another reason why I’m grateful to you, Pig.), when I heard a groan and someone stirring. Of course it has to be Blonde Dude…right? Ino if there are any other guys sleeping somewhere in the apartment you need to tell me RIGHT NOW. I will kill you.

Anyway, I filled up a glass of water and scooped up some aspirin and brought it to the living room, and he was sitting up with his eyes still shut tight. I softly whispered a good morning and he opened his eyes and it was like I was _swimming in a clearest, bluest ocean_. Yeah. Then he opened his mouth.

“SAKURA-CHAN? ZZAT YOU?! OH I HAVE WANTED TO MEET YOU IN AGES!!!” He made a move to hug me (and I was getting disgusted and all _how does this guy know me?_ ) Luckily he has awful aim he just went, “OWW MY HEAD HURTS.”

So like the nice little doctor that I am I gave him his aspirin and instructed him to lie back down for a little while then get breakfast if he thinks he’s ready to stand up on his own.

“Hangovers are a bitch.” I couldn’t agree more with what he said, but I was more surprised that his volume _could_ be lowered (we need to have a talk with this guy, Ino-chan, about decibels and hearing and only-girls-can-talk-and-flail-at-that-volume. Mmkay?).

And now we are eating your lovely pancakes, and he’s…ogling me. Like I’m an angel or something (well _duh_ of course I am an angel, I just don’t like the ogling part). And it seems he’s about to burst into song at any moment. I hope he doesn’t turn into another Lee. Gah.

I’m munching quite happily on my perfect pancake when he looks around and goes, “Where’s Sasuke-teme?”

THERE IS ANOTHER ONE.

INO?!?!?!

Sakura


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was in the middle of a (JUSTIFIABLE) rant when he just stood up, mussed the back of his head and walked past me (to the kitchen I presume, the pancakes smell delicious.) while muttering, "Fine fine. Don't get so worked up about it. Chill."

* * *

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: YOUTH PEACE LOVE

ERM. There might be another one. Peace, Sakura? I’ll give you the Miu Miu boots. They’re thigh highs, remember?

Ino-chan loves Sakura-chan The Beautiful The Goddess

* * *

 

To: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

From: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

Re: You are also insufferable.

Blonde Dude told me you put him in my bedroom. IN MY BED.

I leave the apartment for my usual Saturday all nighter shift at the hospital and WHAT DO I RETURN TO?!

You should be glad that I always go straight to the kitchen for breakfast and to answer emails, and not straight to my bed to sleep.

INO I’M GOING TO FLAY YOU ALIVE.

* * *

 

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: I’M SORRREEEEE!!!

The other dude is Naruto’s roommate! He’s as plastered as my cousin is, and there wasn’t any other place to put him in. _I_ was sleeping in my bed, you know. And you weren’t there.

SAKURA. FORGIVE ME ALREADY. I WON’T TOUCH THOSE BOOTS AGAIN. I PROMISE.

Ino-chan : (

* * *

 

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: SAKURA?!

R U THER? PLEASE REPLY.

Ino-chan

* * *

 

From: PIG

8:10 July 23

Sakura? You’re not answering your emails! Are you and Naruto and Sasuke okay? You’ve met him right? Please reply. : (

* * *

 

December 31

Tsunade-shishou,

You may be the esteemed President of the University, the head of surgery and my mentor but I have to hand it to you, these ‘postdated letters’ of yours have to be your stupidest idea yet.

I mean, what’s the use of the ‘postdated’ qualifier since all it means (as you have explained to me, the innocent victim) is that you’re going to read them _later_? You can read a letter whenever. I don’t care. GAH. Its not as if this is a telegram, you know. And I’m sure that you’ll be hearing the same things from me earlier. You don’t even have to read this friggin’ letter. KAMI WHY AM I STILL DOING THIS?! And to top this off, it’s on PAPER. _HANDWRITTEN._

You told me these are a good way to let off steam and cure my anger management issues. Hello, look at what this did to _your_ anger management issues.

I rest my case. If I have to do this (and you so dangled a residency on my head, _are you even allowed to do that?!_ ), fine I’ll do it.

Today after the damning forty-eight hours I clocked in at the hospital I went home. As usual, Ino’s superb pancake batter was there, and all I had to do was shimmy a pan from the cupboards and cook it. But before I even reached the kitchen, what do I find but a blonde dude snoring loudly on our couch, and to find out that he is the distant cousin of my equally blonde and dumb (UGH INO) roommate, _and_ that she has allowed him to stay overnight at the apartment (while she went out gallivanting with an ex-crush, that methinks is not so ex anymore).

When he woke up I forced down Aspirin on him, then fed him pancakes. THEN he started to ask where a Sasuke-teme was. How the hell should I know where? I don’t even know what that is. Then I find out (people need to stop springing surprises on me!!) that a Sasuke-teme is a person AND THAT INO MADE HIM SLEEP IN MY BED. WHAT IN KAMI’S NAME GOES ON IN OUR APARTMENT WHILE I GO OUT AND SAVE LIVES?!

I was fuming mad, and the blonde dude could see it cause I sort of saw him back away from where we were facing each other in the dining room table and get a little frightened around the eyes. He said, “I’ll wake him up.”

OH NO. Sasuke-teme will not get off this easily. “I will wake him up,” I told the blonde dude.

I marched right in front of the door to my bedroom and yanked it open. I was about to shout “WAKE UP FATHEAD!!” in three different languages when I caught sight of the vision sleeping in my bed. Yes, VISION, Shishou, VISION. Black hair stuck out in odd angles that brought out his pale skin, lips that practically begged to be kissed, and (I SWEAR) a physique to die for. What else was I supposed to do other than stop short and stare?!

Three seconds into staring and blinking rapidly he woke up and stretched. He caught me gaping at him from the door and glared (OHMY Shishou, his eyes were black. As black as his hair I think. And they were SMOLDERING. Even while glaring.) at me, “Are you a stalker? What are you doing here?” And of course _that_ ignited my temper again because HELLO THIS IS MY APARTMENT, MY ROOM AND YOU ARE SLEEPING IN MY BED! I told him so, but in more words than that. (I had actually forgotten how hot he was because I was so furious. Argh. I so need to enroll in anger management classes now. Aside from this anger management handwriting exercise you’ve given me. I am such a failure.)

I was in the middle of a (JUSTIFIABLE) rant when he just stood up, mussed the back of his head and walked past me (to the kitchen I presume, the pancakes smell delicious.) while muttering, “Fine fine. Don’t get so worked up about it. Chill.”

THAT was all it took for me to yell, “WHAT THE HELL?!” into the living room. Of course I followed him and yelled all obscenities (wow, it was as if I hadn’t been a living-zombie-doctor for forty eight hours!). Ha. I could see Naruto covering his ears  (what’s he doing with my laptop?) while SASUKE-TEME just helped himself to the pancakes that _I freaking made_. That almost started a whole new tirade, but all of a sudden I felt exhausted and just slumped on a seat.

I was snoring a few moments later. But I did recall a pair of soft yet sinewy arms (I don’t know how the hell the soft and sinewy happened it just did) carry me then there was this wonderful wonderful smell pervading my senses and that was the last thing I remembered.

There, I think that’s fine for my first postdated letter (will you take my suggestion and just call it a plain, simple letter?!)

I just woke up you know, so sorry about the nonsensical things you just read. Buh-bye Shishou!

Cheers!

Sakura

* * *

 

From: Sasuke-chan

8:15 July 23

Hey, Mom. I’m fine. We’re crashing over at Naruto’s cousin’s apartment for now. Sorry I was still asleep when you called.

* * *

 

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: Uchiha Itachi [uchihai@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Sasuke-chan!

 

_UCHIHA ITACHI_

Vice President

Sales and Distribution Division

Uchiha Laboratories Inc.

Uchiha Group of Companies

* * *

 

To: Uchiha Itachi [uchihai@uchihagroup.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: ITACHI.

What the hell.

And I told you to get rid of the signature.

* * *

 

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: Uchiha Itachi [uchihai@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Sasuke-chan! It’s your mother.

TSK TSK TSK. Language, Sasuke-chan. What have I taught you boys?

Anyway, your brother is teaching me how to email, and he’s even bought me a Blackberry, like what the three of you boys have! It’s cheaper than texts and phone calls, Itachi says. Sorry about that blank email earlier, I don’t know what happened to make the screen say ‘sending’ when I was still typing.

But I have yet to have my own email address because your brother says it takes about thirty minutes for the system server over at the company to register and verify the account, whatever that means. And I can’t wait thirty minutes to ask you these questions.

Is Naruto’s cousin a girl? Maybe you can date her, darling! At least there’s something good that will come out of having your apartment swarmed with pests. Honestly, darling, I told the two of you to look after yourselves. Now look, you’re living off other people now. Hardly a good thing. Do you remember the many Uchihas that lived off us when your father earned his first million? I’m not even sure if they were Uchihas.

But of course we couldn’t send them away.

Oh, Sasuke-chan, I’m starting to learn how to use this email and Blackberry! And the signature that you wrote about, Itachi told me about it.

Come and visit, honey! Preferably with your new girlfriend.

Love, Mom

_UCHIHA MIKOTO_

Housewife to Uchiha Fugaku

Uchiha Group of Companies

* * *

 

From: Foolish Little Brother

8:30 July 23

ITACHI. What. The. Hell. What did you do to Mom?

* * *

 

From: Uchiha Itachi

8:32 July 23

Ah, Sasuke. Nice of you to contact me once in a while. Mom wanted to learn technology, so I taught her.

* * *

 

From: Foolish Little Brother

8:32 July 23

Idiot. I contact you every day, as per your wishes. Stop it, now she has another way to nag me. 

* * *

 

To: Uchiha Itachi [uchihai@uchihagroup.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Sasuke-chan! It’s your mother.

Mother, I am 28 years old. I resent being called Sasuke-chan.

Why would you want to learn how to send emails anyway? Aren’t you busy with the house, giving tea parties and entertaining guests?

And how do you get wind of these things anyway, Mom? Yes, Naruto’s cousin is a girl, but no way in hell would I date her. She’s too loud, too much like Naruto. Her roommate though.

Mom. We are looking after ourselves. As I told you when I called last night we were out overnight camping and when we returned the place was already swarmed with insects. And of course it’s Naruto’s fault—who would leave half-eaten instant ramen cups lying around? (But I’m more surprised with the fact that he left them _half-eaten_.) We’re not staying long here, I hope.

And please don’t butt in again and complain about my unsatisfactory love life. I told you I’m not ready yet. Leave me alone, Mom. I’ll bring the girl (when there is one) when I’m ready.

Also, your signature isn’t what it’s supposed to be. Delete it Mom.

Or on second thought, leave it on permanent. It’s Itachi’s email anyway.

Love, Sasuke

* * *

 

From: Foolish Little Brother

8:43 July 23

She is taking too long to reply to my email.

* * *

 

From: Uchiha Itachi

8:45 July 23

Lay off Mom. Anyway, who’s the girl?

* * *

 

From: Foolish Little Brother

8:45 July 23

What girl?

* * *

 

From; Uchiha Itachi

8:47 July 23

And I quote “Her roommate though” So? Who’s she?

* * *

 

From: Foolish Little Brother

8:47 July 23

Oh. No one.

* * *

 

From: Uchiha Itachi

8:48 July 23

Oh come on, you know she’s the first girl you ever gave your attention to. At your own prerogative. That’s got to mean something.

* * *

 

From: Foolish Little Brother

8:50 Jul 23

Itachi. No. One.

* * *

 

From: Uchiha Itachi

8:50 July 23

Jeez. Touchy much?

* * *

 

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: Uchiha Mikoto [uchihamikoto@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Sasuke-chan, darling!

I already got my own email address! The office pushed through.

I won’t listen to whatever you’re writing, Sasuke-chan. It seems as if I have to teach you email etiquette too. Where did I go wrong with you two boys? I am sighing right now.

Sasuke-chan. About that girl, Naruto’s cousin’s roommate. I agree with Itachi in saying that you’re in a state of denial. Go take her out. Then bring her home to meet your father and me. Okay?

I decided to leave off the signature. It’s so hard to type them every single time I write an email. I forgot how to make it permanent. Oh, well. 

Take care, dearie!

Love, Mom

* * *

 

To: Uchiha Itachi [uchihai@uchihagroup.com]

From: Uchiha Mikoto [uchihamikoto@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Your brother

Don’t text him. You yourself have told me it’s cheaper to email than to text, dear. There. I’ve given you your email address back.

* * *

 

To: Uchiha Mikoto [uchihamikoto@uchihagroup.com]

From: Uchiha Itachi [uchihai@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Your brother

Mom. I’m sitting right beside you. Why do you need to email me? You’re enjoying this technology thing entirely too much.

_UCHIHA MIKOTO_

Housewife to Uchiha Fugaku

Uchiha Group of Companies

* * *

 

To: Uchiha Mikoto [uchihamikoto@uchihagroup.com]

From: Uchiha Itachi [uchihai@uchihagroup.com]

Re: MOM?!

My signature?!

_UCHIHA MIKOTO_

Housewife to Uchiha Fugaku

Uchiha Group of Companies


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I followed to make sure he isn’t going to violate her in her sleep or anything because hello, the day I heard Sasuke the TEME say fetching (when did he become British, anyway?) and adorable is going to be the day pigs fly. Are they? I mean, are you flying, Ino? HAHAHAHAHA. I LOVE SAKURA’S NICKNAME FOR YOU.

* * *

To: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

From: NinjaNARUTO! [ramenisheavenFEEDME@fmail.com]

Re: WHERE ARE YOU?!

Because your roommate, is not who she is. I mean, she’s hot and pretty and all, and I don’t know who else has pink hair, but she is not cool when she is angry. : ( I could swear that smoke was coming out from her ears, nostrils, mouth and eyes.

(And why pancakes for breakfast?! I could do with some ramen you know. I used to think you know me, Ino-chan. HOW I HURT. Although the pancakes were delicious.)

And you’ll NEVER BELIEVE WHAT THE TEME SAID!!!

You can’t hide from me, I CAN SEE YOU COZ I AM NINJA,

Naruto

* * *

To: NinjaNARUTO! [ramenisheavenFEEDME@fmail.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: What is it with people looking for me in all caps?!

Um, she’s Sakura I swear. I might have…forgotten to tell you about her anger management issues. Don’t worry it’s not often. You still think she’s hot, don’t you?

(YOU RAMEN FREAK.)

WHAT DID HE SAY?!

And whose laptop/blackberry are you mooching off on now, anyway?

(And that _fmail_ never fails to crack me up, although I’m shaking my head at your email address. How very…juvenile, Cousin.)

Ino-chan

* * *

To: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

From: NinjaNARUTO! [ramenisheavenFEEDME@fmail.com]

Re: WHERE ARE YOU?! (yeah, still the same subject)

Um. Okay then. Yes she’s still hot but I think her…issues are too much for me. I don’t want to be bonked on the head every day, if that’s how she shows her affection. I need me some mild-mannered girl, y’know (d’ya have one?). Sorry, Ino, you can’t match make me with her. Maybe the teme? He seems to like her. I shudder at the children they might have in the future.

(LEAVE ME ALONE.)

You’ll never believe this!!!! So Sakura-chan went to wake him up (after she shot down my offer of waking him up). I was listening, because she seemed angry when she left (no I’m just kidding, there is no _seemed._ She was breathing fire). Surprisingly, there was only silence. For a short time, then I could hear teme’s voice saying something I can’t understand, then Mount Sakura erupted:

Mount Sakura (MS): STALKER? WHO THE EFF DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! THIS IS _MY ROOM, MY APARTMENT, AND THAT IS MY BED YOU ARE SLEEPING IN!_ I ALONE, OUT OF THE THREE OF US HERE, HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE IN THIS APARTMENT, I COULD KICK YOU OUT, ALL OF YOU, BECAUSE THIS IS MINE! I WILL KILL INO-PIG, THAT BOAR!, AFTER I DO THE WATER TORTURE THEN PRICK YOU AND NARUTO WITH A NEEDLE!

MS continues in a vein much similar to that. Continue:

Sasuke-teme (ST): mumble mumble mutter mutter. (goes into the kitchen and takes a pancake)

MS: WHAT THE HELL?! EFF, ESS, YOU AYE EYCH, GEE TEE EFF OH, etc etc (i am screening her here for the sake of your virgin eyes. HAH: NOT!)

I could see MS opening and closing her mouth, and still red in the face, but I think she lost steam, because she just slumped on a seat and was asleep a few moments later.

ST: Isn’t she fetching when she’s angry?

Naruto-ninja (NN): Fetching? WHAT?! _Fetching?!_

ST (nonchalantly): Yes, fetching. Adorable, too, I think.

NN: (speechless. Mouth is open.)

ST finishes his pancake and carries (YES, CARRIES) MS to the room he vacated earlier. I followed to make sure he isn’t going to violate her in her sleep or anything because hello, the day I heard Sasuke the TEME say fetching (when did he become British, anyway?) and adorable is going to be the day pigs fly. Are they? I mean, are you flying, Ino? HAHAHAHAHA. I LOVE SAKURA’S NICKNAME FOR YOU.

Back to the story. He carried her to her room and placed her on the bed THAT HE VACATED EARLIER MIND YOU and covered her. HE TUCKED HER IN KAMI THAT’S WHAT HE DID.

Ino, you might’ve failed with match making me and her, but there you go, A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN. We have got to SCHEME.

Don’t tell Sakura I borrowed her laptop.

You can’t hide from me, I CAN SEE YOU COZ I AM NINJA,

Naruto

* * *

 

To: NinjaNARUTO! [ramenisheavenFEEDME@fmail.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: YOU ARE LAME.

FINE.

OHMYKAMI are you talking about the TEME who is also your roommate? UCHIHA SASUKE? The one with a stick up his ass who doesn’t appreciate the beauty that is I and just IGNORED me? HE _LIKES SAKURA?!_

(MY THEORY THAT SAKURA IS MORE GIRLFRIEND MATERIAL IS SO TRUE. NO! …but I don’t particularly care anyway, it’s much more fun to be…whore-ish and have me my Boyfriends of the Week. HAHAHA! Don’t tell anybody I said that.)

OHMYKAMI. I believe you!!!!!

YES WE HAVE GOT TO SCHEME to get them together. I mean, as far as you have told me in your email, Sasuke seems to have no problem getting his romantic act together. (HOW DID HE CARRY HER TO HER ROOM?!) But Sakura, the clueless Forehead that she is, will never know what hit her. And I’m thinking she’s still angry with him no matter how HOT your roommate might be.

Intervention!

(Oh, it’s fine. She won’t mind.)

Ino-chan

* * *

 

To: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

From: NinjaNARUTO! [ramenisheavenFEEDME@fmail.com]

Re: AM NOT!

YES. The one who just took one look at you and coughed ‘slut’ into his hands. Well no, not really. That was me when we were kids. (Honestly Ino, I think you were born being a slut! Haha.) He just well, took a look then turned away. I LAUGH.

(Theory? For some reason I don’t believe that she has had more boyfriends than you. For the reason, see above paragraph. But I can believe that guys who aren’t looking for just a screw might go for Sakura over you, that is, the Sakura minus her lioness tendencies. HAH YOU ADMITTED ITTTT. Fiiine, I won’t tell.)

SO? How do we scheme? (And I for one cannot believe that Sasuke is getting romantic. Maybe it’s the hangover thinking. I THINK!!!)

(Sweet, thanks!)

You can’t hide from me, I CAN SEE YOU COZ I AM NINJA,

Naruto

* * *

 

To: NinjaNARUTO! [ramenisheavenFEEDME@fmail.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: ARE TOO.

NARUTO YOU ARE A JERKMORONIDIOTFREAK. Watch out for me. My wrath might not be on par with dear Sakura-chan’s, but it COMES CLOSE.

(OHMYKAMI. I AM SO RIGHT!! !!! Why thank you, dearie. Even if this second paragraph discussion does contradict our first paragraph discussion.)

Are you sure that’s the hangover thinking? Because if it is so, then we might have to do _major_ intervention. If it’s not, then you just prod Sasuke into asking her out and I’ll goad and tease Sakura, basically anything and everything we love to do to them anyway. (I AM CACKLING LIKE MAD.)

And am I mistaken or were you being witty in that last email? KAMI NARUTO YOU ARE GROWING A BRAIN. CONGRATULATIONS.

Ino-chan

* * *

 

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: SAKURA?!

How are you? What happened?

You’re not replying!

Ino-chan

* * *

 

To: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

From: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

Re: I’m Fine.

I’ve calmed down considerably. But I AM STILL BREATHING. DOWN. YOUR. LOVELY. NECK.

Just come home, BOAR, and I swear you will get it.

Naruto told you already. He told me. I was interrupting his email to you. What were you talking about anyway? He immediately logged out and closed the window when he saw me. Are you two planning something? Or maybe he’s still scared of me. When I went back to the kitchen I could see him cringing. HAH.

I can see that we’re going to be good friends.

(And where is that Sasuke-teme anyway?)

It’s already four oh eight, Pig. I’m waiting for five so you can come home and I can disembowel you. Slowly and painfully.

Sakura-chan

* * *

 

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: You replied!!

FOREHEAD. Your threats don’t work on me.

Oh, HAHA. Naruto is scared of you. He admitted to me. I laughed the ears off The Shikamaru when I read it in his email. (We were talking about nonsense, and things you already know, don’t worry your forehead over it.)

For some reason I can hear your mad laugh and cracking knuckles.

OHKAMI OF COURSE NARUTO TOLD ME WHAT HAPPENED. AND YOU SO LIKE HIM FOREHEAD! I can so see you stopping to stare at his sleeping profile!!! LOL YOU LIKE HIM! Even if he may have been sleeping in your bed (which is totally my fault, sorry Forehead! But I’m thinking you probably liked it. HEEHEEHEE.)

I’m not going home! Haha. Am going to be sleeping over at my parents’. They told me they miss me terribly. So I was like, fine, I'll indulge you this once.

See ya, Forehead!

Ino-chan

* * *

 

To: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

From: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

Re: Um, DUH.

HAHA. I have got Naruto wrapped around my forefinger (not LITERALLY YOU DOOFUS).

Be scared, Pig.

OH. ERM. Thing is, Pig. I did stare (I couldn’t help it! and I’m sure you couldn’t, too! Faced with that amount of… _man candy_ , we are putty.).

And I reiterate, for that, be scared, Pig.

OH REALLY, AND MY THREATS DON’T WORK ON YOU. They miss you terribly? Your parents see you five days a week, during your shift at your flower shop. Honestly, Ino, you need to be independent!!!

Go home. COME ON. Are you leaving me with Naruto the Blonde Idiot (yes his name has been upgraded, did you know that he requested ramen for _breakfast?!_ Who the hell eats ramen for breakfast?!) and Man Candy—AHEM—Sasuke-teme? (I am so going to call him Sasuke-teme, then pretend that that is his real name.) Don’t leave me to cook for them. Please. You know how disastrous I _am_ at cooking.

Or else I’m coming for you.

Sakura-chan

* * *

 

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: You Know You Love Me Forehead.

Doofus? Who uses DOOFUS NOW?! Only you, Forehead. Please lay off my trashy period romances.

I KNEW IT! YOU LIKE HIM! YOU WANT TO BE HIS GIRLFRIEND AND HAVE NAUGHTY RAUNCHY SEX WITH HIM! (I’d add engagement and marriage but you know that I don’t really swing that way. You though, are free to dream such things. And I know you do, you Disney girl.)

‘SCUSE ME. Of course they miss me, I am their only daughter. And child.

Hahaha. Yes, I’m leaving you with them. Don’t worry, I’m sure Naruto can cook. That is, if you’re not averse to twenty-three different types of ramen.

LAV YA!

Ino-chan

* * *

 

To: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

From: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

Re: Not When You’re Leaving Me with Dumbo and Jerkface!

Those are _your_ trashy period romances. Your entire fault.

HUM. Well, if he weren’t such a JERKFACE, I would dream it.

(AGH. YOU ARE A BAD INFLUENCE INO I CAN’T BELIEVE I AGREED TO THAT. And leave me and my Disney addiction alone.)

I DON’T BELIEVE YOU, YOU LIAR.

INO! I AM SO GOING TO STORM INTO YOUR HOUSE. In two days, though. I need to go, it’s my shift at the University! Good thing. I don’t need to cook for Dumbo and Jerkface!

Sakura-chan

* * *

 

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: AWWW izz okay. You Still Love Me Anyway.

Forehead, you won’t find me! Believe It! (KAMI Naruto is such a BAD INFLUENCE.)

And only YOU are inhuman enough to actually clock in forty-eight hours in that hellhole you love and call University of Konoha Hospital.

BLEGGHH.

Ino-chan

* * *

 

9pm

Naruto-kun, Sasuke-teme (and Ino-pig too, if you decided to come home)

I ordered pizza for dinner; there’re some left, just stick it in the microwave. Also bought groceries, so you can make your own food. Be back after my shift! (Whenever that is.)

Sakura-chan

* * *

 

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: NinjaNARUTO! [ramenisheavenFEEDME@fmail.com]

Re: I got your email add from Ino ^^,,

Thanks for the pizza! Sasuke-teme thinks so, too, though he grumbles it.

(And he’s also pissed at the fact that you called him Sasuke-teme. And that I get Naruto-kun, HAHA. Don’t worry, though, he gets pissed at everything.)

And, um. We don’t really know how to cook. But we’ll persevere! (I know you don’t know how to cook, too. Ino told me.)

See you Sakura-chan!

You can’t hide from me, I CAN SEE YOU COZ I AM NINJA,

Naruto

* * *

 

To: NinjaNARUTO! [ramenisheavenFEEDME@fmail.com]

From: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

Re: Sure.

No problem.

(HAH. That is so, _not obvious._ )

Oh. If it helps, I bought instant ramen and apples. Good luck!

And what kind of signature is that?!

(Sorry I took so long to reply. I was in the Operating Room.)

Sakura-chan

* * *

 

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: NinjaNARUTO! [ramenisheavenFEEDME@fmail.com]

Re: YAY!

HAHA. I’ll tell him that for you. He’s bound to get pissed, as usual.

OH IT DOES, TRULY! I’ll go get it!!!!!

Sakura-chan you are an angel.

Oh, that’s ‘cause I am a ninja.

(Iz fine. Good luck doing whatever you were doing there.)

You can’t hide from me, I CAN SEE YOU COZ I AM NINJA,

Naruto

* * *

 

From: Forehead

5:36 July 24

NINJA?! What is Naruto talking about? And while we’re at it, what do they do for work anyway? And are you at home?

* * *

 

From: Ino-Pig

6:09 July 24

What is it with you and texting at unholy hours in the morning? I’ll get back to you when I’ve had my full eight hours, Forehead.

* * *

 

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: Uchiha Itachi [uchihai@uchihagroup.com]

Re: About that girl

Tell me about her, Sasuke. Come on.

_UCHIHA ITACHI_

Vice President

Sales and Distribution Division

Uchiha Laboratories Inc.

Uchiha Group of Companies

* * *

 

To: Uchiha Itachi [uchihai@uchihagroup.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: About that girl

Leave me alone, Itachi.

And I told you that I hate that signature.

* * *

 

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: Uchiha Itachi [uchihai@uchihagroup.com]

Re: About that girl

Come on. Mother is pestering me like there’s no tomorrow. On email. And I know you’re bound to burst on me anyway and tell everything. Do it sooner, please.

Fine. Your insecurity issues are surfacing again, foolish little brother.

* * *

 

To: Uchiha Itachi [uchihai@uchihagroup.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: About that girl

See? It was a bad idea for you to introduce technology to her. And shut up. I do not tell you everything that goes on in my life.

How many times have I told you not to call me that?

* * *

 

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: Uchiha Itachi [uchihai@uchihagroup.com]

Re: About that girl

Sasuke. If you don’t tell me I will tell her to pester you. She isn’t doing that now because she knows you won’t give her the exact details anyway. Whereas you always give them to me. (And I will know, no matter. You know me.) And if you told me what happened I’d be telling Mom the edited, _nice_ version. (Knowing you, your encounter with her would be anything but nice. You scare girls away. Except for your fan girls anyway. But they still remain loving you from afar.)

Otherwise, I’ll sic her pestering on you.

Many, many times, foolish little brother.

* * *

 

To: Uchiha Itachi [uchihai@uchihagroup.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: About that girl

Will I ever get a moment’s peace from you, mother, Naruto, Ino or Sakura?

* * *

 

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: Uchiha Itachi [uchihai@uchihagroup.com]

Re: About that girl

Apparently not. Tell me: is she the one named Ino or Sakura?

* * *

 

To: Uchiha Itachi [uchihai@uchihagroup.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: About that girl

…

Sakura. To make the story short, I crashed, drunk, on her bed. And she returned the next morning, from work, to find Naruto and I snoring on the apartment she shared with Ino (Naruto’s cousin). Needless to say, I awoke to a maddened woman who was screaming at my ear.

She was pretty fetching while mad, though. And she has the greenest eyes I’d seen.

There. What else do you want.

* * *

 

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: Uchiha Itachi [uchihai@uchihagroup.com]

Re: About that girl

I suppose you don’t want me to tell Mother that you woke up in her bed. I’ll tell her about the shouting though, that’ll get her worked up about her Sasuke-chan. Though she’d be hiding her amusement. Dad will definitely show his, though. Subtly. You know Dad.

I’d expect periodic updates about her.

…and Sasuke? Ask her out. On a date. She seems interesting enough.

If you don’t, I will.

* * *

 

To: Uchiha Itachi [uchihai@uchihagroup.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: About that girl

Fuck off Itachi.

* * *

 

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: Uchiha Itachi [uchihai@uchihagroup.com]

Re: About that girl

You really like her, huh? Fine.

You better ask her on a date. _I will know._

I still expect periodic updates. Preferably twice a week.

* * *

 

To: Uchiha Itachi [uchihai@uchihagroup.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: About that girl

Fuck off.

* * *

 

From: Ino-Pig

7:58 July 24

He fancies himself a ninja. He’s just a martial arts instructor, though. But he’s really good. And he’s joined the Olympics. Sasuke’s an executive somewhen somewhere. Ever heard of the Uchiha Group of Companies? Yeah, his family owns it. He’s an Uchiha.

* * *

 

To: notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Work

When do you get off? I’m getting tired of instant ramen and apples. All of which I rarely eat. I’ll pick you up then take you out to eat.

* * *

 

From: Forehead

12:14 July 24

PIG?! The rich Uchiha Sasuke you told me about? The one I called Sasuke-teme in his face (or well, through a note anyways)? HE ASKED ME OUT TO DINNER. Um. Help. And how did he get my informal e-add?!

* * *

 

To: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Sakura

What’s her email address? She’s not replying to the one Naruto gave me.

* * *

 

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: Sakura

You get to the point quickly, don’t you? AND OH KAMI YOU SO LIKE HER. OHMYKAMI NARUTO WAS SO RIGHT.

Did Naruto give you her informal one? ‘Cause she only replies to _people she likes_ using that one. That was sort of private.

Her formal one’s harunosakura_md@universityofkonoha.com.

GO GET THE GIRL! NARUTO AND ME = SUPPORT!

Ino-chan


	4. Chapter 4

* * *

To: harunosakura_md@universityofkonoha.com

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Work

When do you get off? I’m getting tired of instant ramen and apples. All of which I rarely eat. I’ll pick you up then take you out to eat.

* * *

From: Ino-Pig

1:42 July 24

There. I gave him your formal e-add. Now what? You gonna say yes or no? YES PLEASE. That is man candy asking you. MAN CANDY.

* * *

From: Forehead

2:55 July 24

Why’d you do that?!?!?! Jerkface just copy pasted his earlier email. LOSER. (Him, not you.)

* * *

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: Haruno Sakura, MD [harunosakura_md@universityofkonoha.com]

Re: Work

Sure that’d be fine. But I’m not sure when I’ll be getting off though. Or if I’ll finish today. The hours here at the hospital are crazy. I’ll email you though. Will Naruto be coming?

* * *

To: Haruno Sakura, MD [harunosakura_md@universityofkonoha.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Work

I think you better text me or call my mobile. 212-xxxx-xxx

* * *

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: Haruno Sakura, MD [harunosakura_md@universityofkonoha.com]

Re: Work

Okay.

* * *

From: Forehead

4:05 July 24

Um. Okay. So I said yes. (Don’t blame ME PIG.) But I asked him if Naruto was coming. He didn’t answer. What do I make with that?!

* * *

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: Your Texts

…are too many that I swear your mobile company is jumping up and down with glee with the profits you’ve given them today. Use your email, Sakura-chan!

AND HAHAHAHA. I was so right. He asked you out and you said yes. As if you can hide the goings-on in your maiden heart from me, fair damsel Forehead. HAHAHA.

AND what a LOSER. You asked him if Naruto was coming? Gosh, it was your time to score a date with Man Candy (From now on he shall be called that.) and you asked him if Dumbass was coming. KAMI, Forehead, KAMI. And I think it’s a good thing he didn’t answer whether Naruto was coming. That means he may or may not. And I have a think that it’s more on the ‘may not’ and thus you have a date! I am so excited, Forehead! It’s a shove to your non existent love life!!!!

And please. Wear make up and at least take off your gloves before seeing him. (And wipe off the blood!) I know how harried you always look after your shift okay. DON’T LET HIM SEE THAT.

That’s all. Good luck on your date, Forehead!

Ino-chan who’s happy to see you back on track again. SQUEE FOR YOUR LOVELIFE!

* * *

To: Uchiha Itachi [uchihai@uchihagroup.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Sakura

She’s a doctor. Over at the U of K hospital.

* * *

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: Uchiha Itachi [uchihai@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Sakura

Really? Mom and Dad will be deliriously happy over this. Especially Mom, with the free medical advice your girlfriend can give Dad.

* * *

To: Uchiha Itachi [uchihai@uchihagroup.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Sakura

Is not my girlfriend. Yet.

* * *

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: Uchiha Itachi [uchihai@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Sakura

You’re being very calm about this. And fast. I imagined when my foolish little brother gets shackled there’d be a considerable amount of drama and flailing around in the vicinity. And you’ve known her for what, little more than a day?

Kudos to you, little brother. Go with Kami in getting the girl.

* * *

To: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

From: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

Re: My phone bill is none of your business.

Ino. Lay off your trashy period romances. You are such a bad influence!

And its just dinner, Pig, SO NOT A DATE.

(And do I always look harried every after shift? KAMI. I never thought about my appearance, I just wanted to go home. AND BLOOD?! REALLY?!)

Sakura-chan

* * *

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: SORREEE. I forgot how much you earn.

HAH. As if you don’t.

And PUHLEASE. Continue to deny Forehead. AS IF.

(And yes, Sakura-chan. It’s my duty as The Best Friend to tell you.)

Ino-chan

* * *

To: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

From: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

Re: Leave me alone. You should look for another job on your own.

!!! SHUT UP INO.

(OHKAMI. I NEED TO INVEST IN A MIRROR.)

By the way, are you at home?

Sakura-chan

* * *

 

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: Leave my job preferences and me alone.

HAHAHAHA. DENIAL is bad for the health, PIG!

(YES YOU DO. Especially because you’re going to have a boyfriend!!!! And one who’s not invisible.)

For the moment. Do you want me to deliver make up and outfits and stuff to the hospital later after work? I’m being especially nice today, for you. AND YOUR DATE.

Ino-chan

* * *

To: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

From: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

Re: Hmph. You so need to stop mooching off your parents.

WHATEVER PIG.

Oh really? That’d be great! I LOVE YOU INO-CHAN. Even if sometimes you get screw looses in the head. And we are so not going on a date, nor are we dating!!!!

And what do you mean for the moment?

Sakura-chan

* * *

From: Ino-Pig

5:32 July 24

Forehead! The receptionist person at the U said that you were on an operation (HONESTLY, when do you get a break?) so I just left the paper bag with the stuff with her. GET IT!!!

* * *

From: Forehead

8:49 July 24

THANK YOU PIG!!!

* * *

To: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Sakura

What time does she get off from work?

* * *

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: Sakura

KAMI. Am I like, Sakura Central or something? Everyone asks me for info about her, regarding her, ETC.

Go ask her. You have her email.

(And it’s always unknown. It depends on how long her operations take, or if emergency surgeries need to be done, etc. etc. But she usually returns after three days or so. Exhausted.)

Ino-chan

* * *

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: Sakura

NOT EVEN A THANK YOU REPLY!?!?!?!?!?!!?

* * *

To: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

From: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

Re: You

You should thank your nonexistent guardian angel that I’m elbow deep in blood and guts. Or I’ll be hunting your sorry ass now. I just got off the phone with Naruto (he was complaining about the lack of food, anyway. You need to cook for him!) and he tells me you never came home? Just to get some clothes and stuff (those were the ones you brought me, right?) and then nil. You don’t show your face anymore.

WHERE ARE YOU?!

Sakura-chan

* * *

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: Me

You shouldn’t worry about me. I’m fine. Wherever I am.

You should just worry about your date.

Ino-chan

* * *

To: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

From: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

Re: You

INO YOU ARE INSUFFERABLE. ONCE AGAIN.

Please tell me where you are?

Sakura-chan

* * *

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

Re: Ino

Is it true that Ino hasn’t gone home? Did she leave a note, anything?!

Sakura-chan

* * *

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Ino

Oh, you’re using your informal email to e me now?

Yes, I haven’t seen her ever since early Monday morning, when she dumped us at your apartment. No, she didn’t.

Sasuke

* * *

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

Re: Ino

What are you talking about?!

KAMI, where is she?!

Sakura-chan

* * *

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Ino

Nothing.

Honestly, I don’t know. Do you want to look for her? After our dinner, anyway.

Sasuke

* * *

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

Re: Ino

Can we? (And okay, um, I sort of forgot about that. Okay, then.)

Sakura-chan

* * *

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Ino

Sure. What time do you finish work?

Sasuke

* * *

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

Re: Ino

I’m not really sure. Tomorrow night. Or Friday morning. Or afternoon?

Sakura-chan

* * *

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Ino

Okay. Just text me. Or call.

Sasuke

* * *

From: Forehead

2:35 July 26

HELP! MY BAGS ARE BIG!

* * *

From: Ino-Pig

2:35 July 26

Forehead. Calm down. Your eye bags are always big. Besides, Sasuke’s seen them before. Um, a few days ago, when you shouted him down at our apartment?

* * *

From: Forehead

2:36 July 26

NOT. HELPING. PIG! UGH. I think I need to sleep.

* * *

From: Ino-Pig

2:36 July 26

Right-o.

* * *

From: Forehead

2:36 July 26

Right-o? Who uses that today?!

* * *

From: Ino-Pig

2:37 July 26

Shut up. Go sleep.

* * *

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: Sakura

She’ll be up and ready in a few hours. This afternoon. Or evening, I think.

AND THIS IS IMPORTANT UCHIHA. DON’T COMMENT ABOUT HER BAGS.

(You may say her dress is wonderful though. Courtesy by me, if you have to ask.)

Ino-chan

* * *

To: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Sakura.

Fine. I’ll just text her.

And what would I say about the bag that she’s bringing? Or bags?

You women are weird.

* * *

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: Sakura

GOODNESS GRACIOUS KAMI. I was talking about her eye bags, you idiot. DON’T YOU DARE COMMENT ON IT!

Ino-chan

* * *

To: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Sakura.

I won’t.

Women.

* * *

To: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Sakura.

I need her number. It’s already seven pm and she hasn’t texted/emailed/contacted me yet.

Could something have happened to her?

* * *

To: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Sakura.

Oh. Never mind. She already replied.

* * *

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Sakura.

You are SUCH a neurotic it’s not even funny. What did you see in Sa-chan that you didn’t see in ME?!

(Well no, I’d rather leave you and your insanity to Sakura. Or well, both of your insanities to each other. You might be hot, Uchiha, but your attitude’s SO NOT.)

It’s funny how you worry and go to great lengths just to please her. Was this because you SO pissed her off (she told me!) when you _slept_ in her bed? Or OHMYKAMI you really _really_ genuinely like her?

Ino-chan

* * *

 

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Uchiha, you’re not even replying. HOW PATHETIC OF YOU.

Ino-chan

* * *

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

OH LA LA LA YOU REALLY LIIIIIIKE HERR! AND NOT JUST LIKE! YOU LIKE _LIKE_ HER!

OH HELL YEAH.

Ino-chan

* * *

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

Re: I AM SO SORRY!!

I overslept. And it’s so unbelievable because it’s the most uncomfortable hospital bed ever!

Can you wait for thirty minutes, please? Are we meeting somewhere or are you picking me up?

Sakura-chan

* * *

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: I AM SO SORRY!!

It’s okay. I think you need to sleep anyway.

I’ll pick you up at the hospital. I know where it is. See you in thirty minutes, then.

Sasuke

* * *

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: I’m here.

At the lobby.

Sasuke

* * *

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Sakura?

Where are you?

Sasuke

* * *

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Sakura?

Again, where are you?

Sasuke

* * *

To: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Sakura.

I need her number.

Sasuke

* * *

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: Sakura.

212-xxxx-xxx

(I will not even deign to give you a witty reply. This is because you are so talkative in cyberspace. Can you hear the sarcasm in what I wrote?)

Ino-chan

* * *

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: Sakura.

AND ONCE MORE YOU DID NOT EVEN REPLY. I RESCIND THE APPROVAL I GAVE TO YOU AND FOREHEAD.

NO ONE IGNORES INO.

Ino-chan

* * *

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: Sakura.

I HATE YOU. YOU CAD.

Ino-chan

* * *

“I am so sorry, Sir, but we can’t allow you to go up the top floor. It’s a private wing for the hospital staff.”

“…”

“Right, Sir. If you’d just kindly go out to the exit, or perhaps you can wait for Dr. Haruno—Sir? What are you writing in the Staff Log?”

“My name and relation.”

“I can see that, Sir? Sir! You can’t go to the top floo—oh! Um! It’s a pleasure to meet you, Sir! And congratulations!”

* * *

Date/Time                   Visitor                                     Staff                            Relation

26 Jul/8:01pm             Uchiha Sasuke                         Haruno Sakura            Spouse

* * *

From: Ino-Pig

9:54 July 27

SO?! HOW’D IT GO?! HAVE YOU HAD SEX YET?! I AM SO EXCITED THIS IS KEEEELING ME.

* * *

From: Ino-Pig

9:57 July 27

Forehead.

* * *

From: Ino-Pig

9:59 July 27

Forehead.

* * *

From: Ino-Pig

10:01 July 27

Forehead!

* * *

From: Forehead

10:10 July 27

UGH. Stop trying to call me. I will e you later promise.

* * *

From: Ino-Pig

10:10 July 27

WITH ALL THE JUICY DETAILS?!?!?!

* * *

From: Forehead

10:12 July 27

Yes.

* * *

From: Ino-Pig

10:13 July 27

you and your obsessive compulsive tendencies to put a period in all of your sentences

* * *

From: Forehead

10:12 July 27

SHUT UP.

* * *

To: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

From: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

Re: So where was I, yeah?

PIGGY, HOLD YOUR HORSES (how, I do not know), BUT YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO BELIEVE WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME LAST NIGHT.

Before you start hyperventilating, I believe we need to back up a few steps, mmkay?

So like the moron that I usually turn into after monstrous shifts of Kami knows how long, I overslept. I was supposed to wake up at six ish and prettify myself up, but bodily functions and needs happened and I woke up at about seven, just in time to see the barrage of emails and texts that Sasuke-kun has sent me, and finally, _finally_ , get up to take a shower.

Then when I finished the said shower, I looked at the inviting hospital bed (HARDLY, it was hard. HAR HAR.) and just. Flopped. Into it. And slept. Until morning.

And imagine my mortification when I saw someone dozing in the chair beside my bed.

IT WAS THE UCHIHA. Sasuke-kun himself. In the flesh. I couldn’t help but regress and pinch my cheeks. And of course I yelped (in the haze of morning wakefulness I had forgotten the inhuman strength I pseudo-inherited from Tsunade-shishou) and _that_ was what jolted him awake.

We sorta…blinked at each other. Before he cleared his throat and asked me, “Had a good sleep?”

Then he smirked at me.

Seriously that smirk switches on something feral in me. I snarled and lunged at him. And remember that I had the next best aim after Tenten. Needless to say, I hit the mark, and down went I, Sasuke-kun and the chair.

HA! I was crowing in triumph when I realized that I was on top of him. And I was only in my underwear. And bathrobe. And of course the robe opened to show him my granny bras (is there even such a thing as granny bras? They were just UGLY. Why didn’t you leave me my lacy black set?!?!)

I must’ve turned seventy different shades of red, if there ever was such a thing (I should look it up later).

And I know, I know, I shouldn’t have done it, and the usual me would have never done it, but I could not stop myself you know, Pig? I could not. I mean, there were those blackblack _black_ eyes that seemed like they were boring into my soul, and I could just imagine my insides melting into a puddle of goo that they wouldn’t be eligible for organ transplant anymore even if I begged the most low budget hospital to take them—HUH.

_Anyway_. I kissed him. There you have it. I am so sorry if I propagated cliché, even if I abhor it to death.

_And_. I won’t say anything anymore. HAH. You figure out what happened next, even if I did have granny bras on…

…

(I am being purposeful with my ellipses.)

I LOVE YOU,

Sakura-chan

* * *

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: So where was I, yeah?

EXCUSE ME. I DIED A LITTLE THERE, YEAH. (Deidara is such a bad influence on meeee!)

FOREHEAD. I SAID DETAILS. I NEED DETAILS.

AND I DON’T LIKE CLIFFHANGERS. IF YOU DON’T EMAIL THE EXACT STORY NOW I WILL STALK YOU AND STORM IN ON THE BOTH OF YOU NAKED OR HAVING SEX, WHEREVER YOU ARE, WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING. I DO NOT CARE. I AM INO, I AM NOT ASHAMED OF MYSELF----

osdiuygfcvbnfsdoihgv


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Right, Sir. If you’d just kindly go out to the exit, or perhaps you can wait for Dr. Haruno—Sir? What are you writing in the Staff Log?” “My name and relation.” “I can see that, Sir? Sir! You can’t go to the top floo—oh! Um! It’s a pleasure to meet you, Sir! And congratulations!”

* * *

To: harunosakura_md@universityofkonoha.com

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Work

When do you get off? I’m getting tired of instant ramen and apples. All of which I rarely eat. I’ll pick you up then take you out to eat.

* * *

From: Ino-Pig

1:42 July 24

There. I gave him your formal e-add. Now what? You gonna say yes or no? YES PLEASE. That is man candy asking you. MAN CANDY.

* * *

From: Forehead

2:55 July 24

Why’d you do that?!?!?! Jerkface just copy pasted his earlier email. LOSER. (Him, not you.)

* * *

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: Haruno Sakura, MD [harunosakura_md@universityofkonoha.com]

Re: Work

Um. Sure that’d be fine. But I’m not sure when I’ll be getting off though. Or if I’ll finish today. The hours here at the hospital are crazy. I’ll email you though. Will Naruto be coming?

* * *

To: Haruno Sakura, MD [harunosakura_md@universityofkonoha.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Work

I think you better text me or call my mobile. 212-xxxx-xxx

* * *

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: Haruno Sakura, MD [harunosakura_md@universityofkonoha.com]

Re: Work

Okay.

* * *

From: Forehead

4:05 July 24

Um. Okay. So I said yes. (Don’t blame ME PIG.) But I asked him if Naruto was coming. He didn’t answer. What do I make of that?!

* * *

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: Your Texts

…are too many that I swear your mobile company is jumping up and down with glee with the profits you’ve given them today. Use your email, Sakura-chan!

AND HAHAHAHA. I was so right. He asked you out and you said yes. As if you can hide the goings-on in your maiden heart from me, fair damsel Forehead. HAHAHA.

AND what a LOSER. You asked him if Naruto was coming? Gosh, it was your time to score a date with Man Candy (from now on he shall be called that.) and you asked him if Dumbass was coming. KAMI, Forehead, KAMI. And I think it’s a good thing he didn’t answer whether Naruto was coming. That means he may or may not. And I have a think that it’s more on the ‘may not,’ and thus you have a date! I am so excited, Forehead! It’s a shove to your non existent love life!!!!

And please. Wear make up and at least take off your gloves before seeing him. (And wipe off the blood!) I know how harried you always look after your shift okay. DON’T LET HIM SEE THAT.

That’s all. Good luck on your date, Forehead!

Ino-chan who’s happy to see you back on track again. SQUEE FOR YOUR LOVELIFE!

* * *

To: Uchiha Itachi [uchihai@uchihagroup.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Sakura

She’s a doctor. Over at the U of K hospital.

* * *

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: Uchiha Itachi [uchihai@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Sakura

Really? Mom and Dad will be deliriously happy over this. Especially Mom, with the free medical advice your girlfriend can give Dad.

* * *

To: Uchiha Itachi [uchihai@uchihagroup.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Sakura

Is not my girlfriend. Yet.

* * *

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: Uchiha Itachi [uchihai@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Sakura

You’re being very calm about this. And fast. I imagined when my foolish little brother gets shackled there’d be a considerable amount of drama and flailing around in the vicinity. And you’ve known her for what, little more than a day?

Kudos to you, little brother. Go with Kami in getting the girl.

* * *

To: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

From: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

Re: My phone bill is none of your business.

Ino. Lay off your trashy period romances. You are such a bad influence!

And its just dinner, Pig, SO NOT A DATE.

(And do I always look harried every after shift? KAMI. I never thought about my appearance, I just wanted to go home. AND BLOOD?! REALLY?!)

Sakura-chan

* * *

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: SORREEE. I forgot how much you earn.

HAH. As if you don’t.

And PUHLEASE. Continue to deny Forehead. AS IF.

(And yes, Sakura-chan. It’s my duty as The Best Friend to tell you.)

Ino-chan

* * *

To: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

From: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

Re: Leave me alone. You should look for another job on your own.

!!! SHUT UP INO.

(OHKAMI. I NEED TO INVEST IN A MIRROR.)

By the way, are you at home?

Sakura-chan

* * *

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: Leave my job preferences and me alone.

HAHAHAHA. DENIAL is bad for the health, PIG!

(YES YOU DO. Especially because you’re going to have a boyfriend!!!! And one who’s not invisible.)

For the moment. Do you want me to deliver make up and outfits and stuff to the hospital later after work? I’m being especially nice today, for you. AND YOUR DATE.

Ino-chan

* * *

To: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

From: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

Re: Hmph. You so need to stop mooching off your parents.

WHATEVER PIG.

Oh really? That’d be great! I LOVE YOU INO-CHAN. Even if sometimes you get screw looses in the head. And we are so not going on a date, nor are we dating!!!!

And what do you mean for the moment?

Sakura-chan

* * *

From: Ino-Pig

5:32 July 24

Forehead! The receptionist person at the U said that you were on an operation (HONESTLY, when do you get a break?) so I just left the paper bag with the stuff with her. GET IT!!!

* * *

From: Forehead

8:49 July 24

THANK YOU PIG!!!

* * *

To: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Sakura

What time does she get off from work?

* * *

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: Sakura

KAMI. Am I like, Sakura Central or something? Everyone asks me for info about her, about her, ETC.

Go ask her. You have her email.

(And it’s always unknown. It depends on how long her operations take, or if emergency surgeries need to be done, etc. etc. But she usually returns after three days or so. Exhausted.)

Ino-chan

* * *

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: Sakura

NOT EVEN A THANK YOU REPLY!?!?!?!?!?!!?

* * *

To: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

From: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

Re: You

You should thank your nonexistent guardian angel that I’m elbow deep in blood and guts. Or I’ll be hunting your sorry ass now. I just got off the phone with Naruto (he was complaining about the lack of food, anyway. You need to cook for him!) and he tells me you never came home? Just to get some clothes and stuff (those were the ones you brought me, right?) and then nil. You don’t show your face anymore.

WHERE ARE YOU?!

Sakura-chan

* * *

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: Me

You shouldn’t worry about me. I’m fine. Wherever I am.

You should just worry about your date.

Ino-chan

* * *

To: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

From: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

Re: You

INO YOU ARE INSUFFERABLE. ONCE AGAIN.

Please tell me where you are?

Sakura-chan

* * *

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

Re: Ino

Is it true that Ino hasn’t gone home? Did she leave a note, anything?!

Sakura-chan

* * *

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Ino

Oh, you’re using your informal email now?

I haven’t seen her since early Monday morning, when she dumped us at your apartment. No she didn’t.

Sasuke

* * *

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

Re: Ino

What are you talking about?!

KAMI, where is she?!

Sakura-chan

* * *

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Ino

Do you want to look for her? After our dinner, anyway.

Sasuke

* * *

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

Re: Ino

Can we? (And okay, um, I sort of forgot about that. Okay, then.)

Sakura-chan

* * *

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Ino

Sure. What time do you finish work?

Sasuke

* * *

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

Re: Ino

I’m not really sure. Tomorrow night. Or Friday morning. Or afternoon?

Sakura-chan

* * *

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Ino

Okay. Just text me. Or call.

Sasuke

* * *

From: Forehead

2:35 July 26

HELP! MY BAGS ARE BIG!

* * *

From: Ino-Pig

2:35 July 26

Forehead. Calm down. Your eye bags are always big. Besides, Sasuke’s seen them before. Um, a few days ago, when you shouted him down at our apartment?

* * *

From: Forehead

2:36 July 26

NOT. HELPING. PIG! UGH. I think I need to sleep.

* * *

From: Ino-Pig

2:36 July 26

Right-o.

* * *

From: Forehead

2:36 July 26

Right-o? Who uses that today?!

* * *

From: Ino-Pig

2:37 July 26

Shut up. Go sleep.

* * *

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: Sakura

She’ll be up and ready in a few hours. This afternoon. Or evening, I think.

AND THIS IS IMPORTANT UCHIHA. DON’T COMMENT ABOUT HER BAGS.

(You may say her dress is wonderful though. Courtesy by me, if you have to ask.)

Ino-chan

* * *

To: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Sakura.

Fine. I’ll just text her.

And what would I say about the bag that she’s bringing? Or bags?

You women are weird.

* * *

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: Sakura

GOODNESS GRACIOUS KAMI. I was talking about her eye bags, you idiot. DON’T YOU DARE COMMENT ON IT!

Ino-chan

* * *

To: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Sakura.

I won’t.

Women.

* * *

To: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Sakura.

I need her number. It’s already seven pm and she hasn’t texted/emailed/contacted me yet.

Could something have happened to her?

* * *

To: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Sakura.

Oh. Never mind. She already replied.

* * *

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Sakura.

You are SUCH a neurotic it’s not even funny. What did you see in Sa-chan that you didn’t see in ME?!

(Well no, I’d rather leave you and your insanity to Sakura. Or well, both of your insanities to each other. You might be hot, Uchiha, but your attitude’s SO NOT.)

It’s funny how you worry and go to great lengths just to please her. Was this because you SO pissed her off (she told me!) when you _slept_ in her bed? Or OHMYKAMI you really _really_ genuinely like her?

* * *

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Uchiha, you’re not even replying. HOW PATHETIC OF YOU.

* * *

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

OH LA LA LA YOU REALLY LIIIIIIKE HERR! AND NOT JUST LIKE! YOU LIKE _LIKE_ HER!

OH HELL YEAH.

* * *

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

Re: I AM SO SORRY!!

I overslept. And it’s so unbelievable because it’s the most uncomfortable hospital bed ever!

Can you wait for thirty minutes, please? Are we meeting somewhere or are you picking me up?

Sakura-chan

* * *

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: I AM SO SORRY!!

It’s okay. I think you need to sleep anyway.

I’ll pick you up at the hospital. I know where it is. See you in thirty minutes, then.

Sasuke

* * *

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: I’m here.

At the lobby.

Sasuke

* * *

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Sakura?

Where are you?

Sasuke

* * *

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Sakura?

Again, where are you?

Sasuke

* * *

To: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

From: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

Re: Sakura.

I need her number.

Sasuke

* * *

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: Sakura.

212-xxxx-xxx

(I will not even deign to give you a witty reply. This is because you are so talkative in cyberspace. Can you hear the sarcasm in what I wrote?)

Ino-chan

* * *

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: Sakura.

AND ONCE MORE YOU DID NOT EVEN REPLY. I RESCIND THE APPROVAL I GAVE TO YOU AND FOREHEAD.

NO ONE IGNORES INO.

Ino-chan

* * *

To: Uchiha Sasuke [uchihas@uchihagroup.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: Sakura.

I HATE YOU. YOU CAD.

Ino-chan

* * *

“I am so sorry, Sir, but we can’t allow you to go up the top floor. It’s a private wing for the hospital staff.”

“…”

“Right, Sir. If you’d just kindly go out to the exit, or perhaps you can wait for Dr. Haruno—Sir? What are you writing in the Staff Log?”

“My name and relation.”

“I can see that, Sir? Sir! You can’t go to the top floo—oh! Um! It’s a pleasure to meet you, Sir! And congratulations!”

* * *

Date/Time                   Visitor                                     Staff                            Relation

26 Jul/8:01pm             Uchiha Sasuke                         Haruno Sakura            Spouse

* * *

From: Ino-Pig

9:54 July 27

SO?! HOW’D IT GO?! HAVE YOU HAD SEX YET?! I AM SO EXCITED THIS IS KEEEELING ME.

* * *

From: Ino-Pig

9:57 July 27

Forehead.

* * *

From: Ino-Pig

9:59 July 27

Forehead.

* * *

From: Ino-Pig

10:01 July 27

Forehead!

* * *

From: Forehead

10:10 July 27

UGH. Stop trying to call me. I will e you later promise.

* * *

From: Ino-Pig

10:10 July 27

WITH ALL THE JUICY DETAILS?!?!?!

* * *

From: Forehead

10:12 July 27

Yes.

* * *

From: Ino-Pig

10:13 July 27

you and your obsessive compulsive tendencies to put a period in all of your sentences

* * *

From: Forehead

10:12 July 27

SHUT UP.

* * *

To: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

From: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

Re: So where was I, yeah?

PIGGY, HOLD YOUR HORSES (how, I do not know), BUT YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO BELIEVE WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME LAST NIGHT.

Before you start hyperventilating, I believe we need to back up a few steps, mmkay?

So like the moron that I usually turn into after monstrous shifts of Kami knows how long, I overslept. I was supposed to wake up at six ish and prettify myself up, but bodily functions and needs happened and I woke up at about seven, just in time to see the barrage of emails and texts that Sasuke-kun has sent me, and finally, _finally_ , get up to take a shower.

Then when I finished the said shower, I looked at the inviting hospital bed (HARDLY, it was hard. HAR HAR.) and just. Flopped. Into it. And slept. Until morning.

And imagine my mortification when I saw someone dozing in the chair beside my bed.

IT WAS THE UCHIHA. Sasuke-kun himself. In the flesh. I couldn’t help but regress and pinch my cheeks. And of course I yelped (in the haze of morning wakefulness I had forgotten the inhuman strength I pseudo-inherited from Tsunade-shishou) and _that_ was what jolted him awake.

We sorta…blinked at each other. Before he cleared his throat and asked me, “Had a good sleep?”

Then he smirked at me.

Seriously that smirk switches on something feral in me. I snarled and lunged at him. And remember that I had the next best aim after Tenten. Needless to say, I hit the mark, and down went I, Sasuke-kun and the chair.

HA! I was crowing in triumph when I realized that I was on top of him. And I was only in my underwear. And bathrobe. And of course the robe opened to show him my granny bras (is there even such a thing as granny bras? They were just UGLY. Why didn’t you leave me my lacy black set?!?!)

I must’ve turned seventy different shades of red, if there ever was such a thing (I should look it up later).

And I know, I know, I shouldn’t have done it, and the usual me would have never done it, but I could not stop myself you know, Pig? I could not. I mean, there were those blackblack _black_ eyes that seemed like they were boring into my soul, and I could just imagine my insides melting into a puddle of goo that they wouldn’t be eligible for organ transplant anymore even if I begged the most low budget hospital to take them—HUH.

 _Anyway_. I kissed him. There you have it. I am so sorry if I propagated cliché, even if I abhor it to death.

 _And_. I won’t say anything anymore. HAH. You figure out what happened next, even if I did have granny bras on…

…

(I am being purposeful with my ellipses.)

I LOVE YOU,

Sakura-chan

* * *

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: So where was I, yeah?

EXCUSE ME. I DIED A LITTLE THERE, YEAH. (Deidara is such a bad influence on meeee!)

FOREHEAD. I SAID DETAILS. I NEED DETAILS.

AND I DON’T LIKE CLIFFHANGERS. IF YOU DON’T EMAIL THE EXACT STORY NOW I WILL STALK YOU AND STORM IN ON THE BOTH OF YOU NAKED OR HAVING SEX, WHEREVER YOU ARE, WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING. I DO NOT CARE. I AM INO, I AM NOT ASHAMED OF MYSELF----

osdiuygfcvbnfsdoihgv

* * *

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So apparently our girlfriends are the same rabid gossips. I’ll take your (implied) advice and tie her to the bedposts, too. Thanks.

* * *

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: So where was I, yeah?

Hey there, sorry about that. Ino’s currently rabid for gossip so I tied her up to the bedpost. Don’t worry; she won’t bother you for, uh, a few more hours. Or until she’s calmed down, that is. For a while I was afraid she wouldn’t let go of the shift key.

Hey, do we know each other? By any chance, are you a pink-haired girl? I think I remember a Sakura who was hanging around Ino while we were in high school.

Nara Shikamaru

* * *

To: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

From: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

Re: HOLY FUCKING KAMI RESIDING IN THE DEPTHS OF BOTH HELL AND NIRVANA

Are you The Shikamaru of High School Days?

HOLY-- _WHY IS INO WITH YOU AND WHAT IS GOING ON? ARE YOU THE REASON WHY I CAN’T SEEM TO FIND HERE THESE DAYS?! ARE YOU HAVING SEX TOGETHER? I NEED DETAILSSSSSSSSS_

_FKJHGFDSRTYUIOLKNBV_

 

 

So apparently our girlfriends are the same rabid gossips. I’ll take your (implied) advice and tie her to the bedposts, too. Thanks.

Uchiha Sasuke

* * *

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: HOLY FUCKING KAMI RESIDING IN THE DEPTHS OF BOTH HELL AND NIRVANA

Man. Ino’s crazy. I don't know why I keep up with her.

Nara Shikamaru

* * *

From: Ino-Pig

4:30 July 27

Thank goodness those martial arts lessons that I took with Naruto paid off.

* * *

From: Ino-Pig

4:34 July 27

Forehead? Are you out of those blasted binds yet?

* * *

From: Ino-Pig

4:37 July 27

FOREHEAD~~

* * *

From: Ino-Pig

4:56 July 27

UCHIHA SASUKE LET HER GO!!!! NOW!!!!

* * *

 

From: Ino-Pig

5:45 July 27

HOLY FRICKIN’ SHIT FOREHEAD I AM SO SORRY.

(on another note, congratulations, Forehead!! OOH THOSE MUSCLESKJHGF)

* * *

 

From: Forehead

5:47 July 27

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT PIG. I WILL KILL YOU FOR WALKING IN ON US.

* * *

 

From: 212-xxxx-xxx

5:48 July 27

Restrain that girl. This is Uchiha Sasuke.

* * *

 

From: 212-xxxx-xxx

5:52 July 27

Sure. Troublesome, though. Restrain yours, too.

* * *

 

To: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

From: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

Re: Ahem. Okay. Explanations.

This has got to be. Just because of all of the crazy that has happened last, well, two days. And I’m fine now because I finally have coffee! Wee!

And I’ll tell you, Pig, BUT. DO NOT REACT YET. I repeat: DO NOT REACT YET.

I have to lay this out in the open: WE DID NOT HAVE SEX. (And shut up, Pig, I can hear you adding a yet to that statement!)

Well, there was the furious making out, but it wasn’t even anything significant, just a premature release of unresolved sexual tension, which I’m pleased to inform you, is still unresolved as of now, and will still probably remain unresolved, and which would lead to more furious make outs. Kami. That was probably the sluttiest, most arrogant statement I’ve written in email. Pig, you are bad. Utterly bad, and you are rubbing off on me.

Well anyway, after you barged in on us we basically…stopped. (Hell, you kill libidos as quick as a cheetah, Pig!) And. Well. He and I cuddled on that utterly uncomfortable hospital bed that didn’t fit the two of us but hell, what did we care because he was tired from sleeping in that chair and I was just plain tired (that must’ve been all of the non sleeping catching up on me) that we just zoned out without even getting a chance to talk to each other, like what we were supposed to do.

And now I’m on the date. With him. Yes, Piggy, the supposed date.

NOW _YOU’VE_ GOT SOME EXPLAINING TO DO. TO ME.

Sakura-chan

* * *

 

To: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

From: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

Re: Ahem. Okay. Explanations.

I WILL NOT DO ANY EXPLANATIONS UNTIL YOU TELL ME WHY YOU DID NOT JUMP HIS BONES?! AND AFTER I WAS TIED TO THAT BEDPOST?! AND WHO THE HELL TALKS ABOUT FEELINGS WHEN THERE IS SEX TO DO.

FRUSTRATED INO

* * *

 

To: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

From: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

Re: Ahem. Okay. Explanations.

Pig, how can you be frustrated if you have raunchy sex with the Nara?

Sakura-chan

* * *

 

To: LadyINOtheGREAT [blondeandbeautiful@livemail.com]

From: Sakura-chan [notnamedaftercherryblossoms@fmail.com]

Re: Ahem. Okay. Explanations.

GUILTY PIG! YOU ARE NOT ANSWERING MY EMAIL!

Sakura-chan

* * *

 

To: Senju Tsunade <warriorprincessofsake@fmail.com>

From: Sakura-chan <iWASNOTnamedaftercherryblossomsIDIOTS@fmail.com>

Re: Hey Shishou!

I know, I know, I’m not supposed to email you on your informal email, but let’s face it; you never bother with your formal email anyway. And I know for a fact that even the other heads e you on this email and not on senju.tsunade.md@universityofkonoha.com.

Stop deluding yourself that you are a formal person, Shishou. You’ll never be (except for when there’s a pandemic in Konoha and you’re barking orders right and left. Honestly, Shishou? What happened three years ago? Scary. You. But that persona got the job done anyway, so iz fiiiine. _KAMI_ am I beginning to sound like Naruto? I AM SCARED.)

So yeah enough of me insulting you.

SHISHOU! I emailed you just to say that I used your private bath! Because the one for the doctors? _FULL._ And since I had a key and all. I needed to take a bath ‘cause I have a date. HAHAHAHA. And he’s hot, points for me!

You love me, right? After all, I am your apprentice, and have often been called as the daughter-you-never-had. I might as well abuse it.

TOODLES SHISHOU!

LAV YA! (And now I’m sounding like Ino. _KAMI._ The next time you see me, I hope I’m still a pinkhead—that sounds like a disease or something, e.g. pinkeye! I hate it—and not a blonde.)

Sakura-chan

* * *

 

To: Sakura-chan <iWASNOTnamedaftercherryblossomsIDIOTS@fmail.com>

From: Senju Tsunade <warriorprincessofsake@fmail.com>

Re: Hey Shishou!

Sakura. Are you drunk?

I will ignore your insults on the basis that you’re currently drunk.

And about the private bath, yeah, it’s fine. I trust you ignored the things in there that you were supposed to ignore?

OOH. Send me a picture of the both of you—AHEM. I need to run him through first, though. You need my approval, daughter-that-I-never-had. Of course I love you. That’s because you tolerate me. Most of the time.

(WHERE IS MY SAKE?! YOU AND SHIZUNE NEED TO LAY OFF MY STORES. I NEED IT TO KEEP ME SANE.)

I hope you don’t turn into Naruto. That idiot grandson is going to be the death of many people. You don’t need to join him in killing many through his idiocy.

And Sakura. You’re drunk. There is no way you’d turn into a blonde overnight.

Shishou

* * *

 

To: Senju Tsunade <warriorprincessofsake@fmail.com>

From: Sakura-chan <iWASNOTnamedaftercherryblossomsIDIOTS@fmail.com>

Re: Hey Shishou!

I am so not drunk. I drank, but I am not drunk. There’s a whole world’s difference in that.

THANK YOU! AND I WILL. When we have a picture, that is. And of course you are entitled to the running through. You may stare him down as I attempt to smother my giggles at his back. That is if this date is a success and he likes me and I like him. There may be a difficulty in the latter part, seeing as he’s a total jerkface. This date started out nice, though. And I love you, too!

(Dunno about your sake. Ask senpai.)

GRANDSON?! _GRANDSON?!_ What are you talking about? I distinctly remember that you’re unmarried, Shishou. Have you sired any illegitimate children somewhere somewhen?! TELL ME.

(AND OH KAMI. Does this mean that he is my nephew? _NEPHEW?!_

I rescind being the daughter-you-never-had.)

Once again I am not drunk.

Sakura-chan

* * *

 

To: Sakura-chan <iWASNOTnamedaftercherryblossomsIDIOTS@fmail.com>

From: Senju Tsunade <warriorprincessofsake@fmail.com>

Re: Hey Shishou!

Hmm. It’s difficult to tell if you’re drunk or not. Your words are still decipherable, but what you’re saying is utterly nonsense, dear protégé.

Good. And wait—he’s a ‘total jerkface’ and yet you still agreed to date him? What happened to your sense of preservation? I think you should choose better guys more often, Sakura.

AND I. WANT. MY. SAKE.

Oh, he’s just a little something Jiraiya picked up from the streets. And by affinity he’s my adopted something, too, I guess. I am decent, Sakura. No illegitimate children anywhere.

(I am cackling with evil laughter, my dear daughter.)

I think you’re drunk. Give me this date’s phone number, and I will scream his head off with reminders about your curfew.

Shishou

* * *

 

To: Sakura-chan <iWASNOTnamedaftercherryblossomsIDIOTS@fmail.com>

From: Senju Tsunade <warriorprincessofsake@fmail.com>

Re: Hey Shishou!

Sakura. I have been waiting for an hour already. Reply. With the number.

Shishou

* * *

 

To: Sakura-chan <iWASNOTnamedaftercherryblossomsIDIOTS@fmail.com>

From: Senju Tsunade <warriorprincessofsake@fmail.com>

Re: Hey Shishou!

SAKURA. I will sic Naruto AND Jiraiya on you. Are you fine?

Shishou

* * *

 

To: Sakura-chan <iWASNOTnamedaftercherryblossomsIDIOTS@fmail.com>

From: Senju Tsunade <warriorprincessofsake@fmail.com>

Re: Hey Shishou!

I will add in Kakashi for good measure.

Shishou

* * *

 

To: Senju Tsunade <warriorprincessofsake@fmail.com>

From: Sakura-chan <iWASNOTnamedaftercherryblossomsIDIOTS@fmail.com>

Re: Hey Shishou!

Din’t wrry but me iz fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin. Nuh drnk nuuuh ijjj. Nwvrrrr.

Numbrr nbr 21234329jdasfnakdsjjafndjfan whaaaaa

Skachn;-

* * *

 

To: Senju Tsunade <warriorprincessofsake@fmail.com>

From: Sakura-chan <iWASNOTnamedaftercherryblossomsIDIOTS@fmail.com>

Re: Hey Shishou!

Senju-san.

This is Uchiha Sasuke, and Sakura is going to be fine with me.

Uchiha Sasuke

* * *

 

To: warriorprincessofsake@fmail.com

From: uchiha.sasuke@uchihagroup.com

Re: Your phone call

I’m reiterating that Sakura will be fine with me. Your concern is not needed, Senju-san. Nor your threats.

Uchiha Sasuke

* * *

 

To: uchiha.sasuke@uchihagroup.com

From: warriorprincessofsake@fmail.com

Re: Your phone call

Don’t you dare Senju-san me _YOU FUCKER don’t you dare touch my daigterasdkjfsdhgvgyt dgfki FCKRRR_

* * *

 

To: hatake.shizune.md@universityofkonoha.com

From: uchiha.sasuke@uchihagroup.com

Re: Hatake-san

I understand.

Uchiha Sasuke

* * *

 

To: hatake.shizune.md@universityofkonoha.com

From: uchiha.sasuke@uchihagroup.com

Re: Hatake-san

Are you somehow related to Hatake Kakashi?

Uchiha Sasuke

* * *

 

To: hatake.shizune.md@universityofkonoha.com

From: uchiha.sasuke@uchihagroup.com

Re: Hatake-san

Never mind. Don’t answer that.

Uchiha Sasuke

* * *

 

To: uchiha.sasuke@uchihagroup.com

From: hatake.shizune.md@universityofkonoha.com

Re: Hatake-san

Yes, I am. Kakashi tells me you’re being uncharacteristically talkative in your email, if emailing may be described that.

Hatake Shizune

* * *

 

To: uchiha.sasuke@uchihagroup.com

From: hatake.shizune.md@universityofkonoha.com

Re: Hatake-san

Uchiha-san?

Hatake Shizune

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> Is this format acceptable in Archive of our Own? I'm afraid I've been burned by ff.net, and that's why I'm trying it here. I hope this is allowed! I'll delete it if it isn't. Thanks for reading!


End file.
